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View from the cemetery

View from the Cemetery - January 2012 - on the eve of Consett at home

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Friday, 27 January 2012

Funny place Consett; for a start it's a lot further away than you think. By the time you get there you fancy you should be seeing lakes and mountains, but you don't, just sheep. You are however, up a good height, which got me to thinking whether the laws of nature that give those mountain men from Kenya and Ethiopia such an advantage when they come down to sea level to run against our plucky lads also apply to Consett footballers? Does plying your trade on a regular basis in the thin air of the Belle Vue mean that your legs go round a lot easier when you come down to the flatlands? Should there be a handicap system in the Northern League that negates this advantage? And if so, how much more would it apply to Tow Law? Could be fun when reporting the results, "Consett won 1-0 but thanks to the high altitude factor being applied the final result goes down as 2-1 to RCA", "Tow Law were going well in the race for the championship until the mountain handicap kicked in and they were docked 12 points". Well, the management committee would have something else to do other than worrying about bad language, which might be a blessing; not that I am religious you understand. Or over sensitive. Or suggesting anybody else is.

Anyway I only jest of course, nothing wrong with being up high, I could do with being up six feet higher myself but there you go....

View from the Cemetery - January 2012 - Part 2

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Saturday, 14 January 2012

Pressure from editors and printers to produce stuff for matches week after week, is this fair on an old, not getting older nowadays admittedly, gadgie who would just like to turn in his grave now and then? How the retired old boy who does the website blog every day I've heard of manages I will never know. Anyway, surprisingly little happens in this graveyard when there is no match on, which of course is most nights of most weeks, but Tuesday night was all action. Never seen a crowd like it since the old cop shop caught fire, and by all accounts the other neighbours weren't too chuffed. Parking all akimbo and certain parties blowing horns and such like.

View from the Cemetery - January 2012

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Thursday, 12 January 2012

So, having hesitated longer than a virgin behind the bike sheds on a cold Thursday night, the fat lad has said the word, and it turns out the Evo-Stik League is the holy grail after all. Probably a mistake. The ground can't possibly be up to standard yet, and he is surely not relying on the council to get their act in gear by the end of March? To be fair mind, they have only had a hundred years to get the Colliery Welfare up to scratch, and they have very nearly made it already, so what's three months when they put their minds to it?

View from the Cemetery - December 2011

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Friday, 9 December 2011

So, fewer people than I thought know the old Fatima Whitbread and the cricket ball joke. I am sorely tempted, sorely tempted, but even in my condition the repercussions from the guardians of good taste, of which the Northern League seems to have more than its fair share, and vocal at that, certainly in print, would be up in arms, so I must leave it to your imaginations, not a pretty thought. And now I find that my favourite spear chucker didn't even win in the jungle, absolute disgrace, is there no justice? A first class focused athlete like that beat by some pretty boy off the telly? Still we can't all be winners in life, as the Emperor Hirohito said ruefully, and at least the football is going well.

View from the Cemetery - November 2011 - Part 2

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Wednesday, 16 November 2011

So, Fatima Whitbread is in the jungle, eh? The mention of that marvellous name certainly brings back fond memories. Is there a man in the land over the age of 40 who can hear the name Fatima Whitbread and not immediately think of a cricket ball? A very fine joke indeed, but definitely not fit for publication. Those were the days mind, when Britain reigned supreme in the gentle art of female spear throwing, with our two girls battling ferociously with two of the legion of nearly men of East German athletics, the redoubtable Petra Felke and the superbly named Beata Koch. Which is nearly as good a name as old Bernt Hass at Sunderland in Reidy's day, but I digress. The story goes that Petra and Beata were always beautifully close shaven, but maybe not where you would expect.

View from the Cemetery - November 2011

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Thursday, 10 November 2011

No such thing as bad publicity, that's what they all say, and it just shows you how little they all know. Pride goeth before a fall, and if a two-page spread complete with banner headline in the local paper doesn't add up to pride I don't know what does. Rise and rise of RCA it said, which, as you very well might have guessed, has unfortunately been immediately followed by fall and fall, though maybe we got something at Durham on Tuesday? (Yes we did, and an absolute cracker by all accounts). And now the Manchester United of the North East come a visiting, should be fun.

View from the Cemetery - October 2011

Submitted by Ghostly Gadgie on Monday, 3 October 2011

"Just like a river that don't know where it's going, I took a wrong turn and I just kept flowing...."

Well apart from the wrong turn bit, if it's good enough for the Boss it's good enough for me. Might not be a wrong turn, in fact it's turned out lovely, but we certainly don't know where it's going, or if it will ever end? A comprehensive dispatch of the Bishop's boys and another two solid wins on the road since my last communication, and we sail serenely on in untroubled waters, well clear of the chasing pack.

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